Comments on: Gender and Money: Do Men and Women Deal With Finances Differently?

By: Peggy

Peggy — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 05:29:31 +0000

Personally, I don’t think being a spender/miser has anything to do with gender, I think it is back to the nature vs. nurture issue, which could be eternally argued. I am a frugal individual, as are all my siblings, I think it was how we were raised. I handle all our finances BECAUSE I am the Stay-at-Home-Mom. But I always have since we were married (even before children and when I was working) just because I couldn’t handle NOT knowing where all our money was slipping through the cracks. I used to express my anger (and frustration) at him for ‘wasting’ money (in my mind at least) by doing the same thing. It took me 6 years of marriage and our finances in the toilet to realize HE DIDN’T KNOW or CARE!!!! Just because he was spending money we didn’t have didn’t mean I should just to GET EVEN!!! Glad I finally realized that I just needed to put the brakes on his spending. He was relying on me to inform him of our standing, and I didn’t want to feel like I was confining him or curtailing his options, since he made SO much more money than I did. Who was I to tell him what he could and couldn’t spend?? I was only hurting myself. We are much happier now and on the road to financial recovery.
As far as the ’stay-at-home-mom box’… I love it!!! But we live in such a rural area (where there are many of us) it isn’t so much an issue. I wish it could be a positive experience (from EVERY angle) for moms in urban settings, but from what I’ve read, you would have to let the criticism and comments slide off your psyche like water off a duck’s back and just be who you are… for yourself, your spouse, and your kids….

By: FourPillars

FourPillars — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 02:04:16 +0000

Interesting post.

I haven’t noticed any difference in the way men and women treat finances. I know both men & women who are good, bad and average with money so I can’t say I’ve noticed any trend as far as sex goes.

Mike

By: Kyle

Kyle — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 04:38:51 +0000

Excellent point PiggyBankBlues (great name)…it is interesting to me how we often get caught up in gender roles in our society. On bad days, my wife often thinks all she is capable of us changing diapers and getting the kids ready for school. Could not be farther from the truth, she is one of the smarter people I have ever known, it is just that she does not have time right now to do other things.

By: PiggyBankBlues

PiggyBankBlues — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 03:26:22 +0000

i think it is mostly gender roles. just look at the blogs, there’s as many kick a$$ women as men on the pf blogs.

a financial planner told me that with his clients, women are better investors because they listen and learn, while men assume they already know best. but to get women to the financial planning table, you would have to give them the time, as kyle pointed out, and assume they want to be there as much as a man. essentially you would have to bend the old gender roles a wee bit.

i don’t know a lot of households where the man is the sole breadwinner, in my neck of the woods you pretty much need dual incomes, but i’m sure it would alter some dynamics in many relationships.

interesting post, kyle.

By: Kyle

Kyle — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 18:14:00 +0000

BBM – thanks for the comment. Interesting point, I have heard that before, (and do it myself at times) is it because he is the “bread winnner” and feels he has more of right do make a purchase without consulting?

By: Black Belt Mama

Black Belt Mama — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 15:25:48 +0000

I agree with you that women and men approach things differently. My husband and I always argue (good naturedly) that he goes out and buys big ticket items without really consulting me, but if I did that. . . the shock, the horror. . .

I’m a SAHM myself, so yeah, I’d love a latte and some time. . .

Thanks for visiting my blog. Nice site you have here!

By: Kyle

Kyle — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 21:47:31 +0000

Hi Dong -thanks for the comment. Interesting, why do you think it is that women are less likely to talk about money and salary? Is it because men tend to try and boost their own ego by bragging about salary where women keep it private?

By: dong

dong — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 16:07:44 +0000

I definitely think men and women differ when it comes to finances. I think almost all it is learned. One thing that cofounds me is how women in general are less willingly to talk about money with their peers in my experience especially salary information. I think learning the details of how other people deal with money is incredibly useful.