If public health crisis Britney Spears walked into a college finance class looking for advice, here is how I hope the conversation would go:
Professor: “Students, please welcome today’s special guest, singer Britney Spears, to our class.”
Applause
Student: “So how much money do you make every month?”
Britney:“I make like a lot per month, and that is totally cool because I have a lot of expenses.”
Student: “What kind of expenses do you have, and can you write them off.”
Britney: “Off where? Your funny. I did write them down, not off, on this handout for you all to see because I was hoping y’all could help me figure out why I don’t have any money at the end of every month.”
Britney’s Expenses Handout
My Monthly Expenzes:
• $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
• $49,267 on mortgage payments
• $16,000 on clothes
• $4,758 on eating out
• $2,500 on phone bills
Student: “Wow, so that is like over $150 a day on eating out?”
Britney: “Well yeah, I don’t know how to cook.”
Student: “OK, but the big one is entertainment, trips and gifts. Can’t you cut down on that stuff?”
Britney: “I need my trips, I get so bored at home by myself.”
Student: “OK, but you seem to live in hotel rooms and your car, how about selling one of your 2 houses and lower your mortgage payments?”
Britney: “I could do that, hey that is a good idea! I have not even been in one of my houses for a long time anyways.”
Student: “That would really help. Also, do you save any money?”
Britney: “What do you mean?”
Student: “Do you put any money in savings account? Or investments? Or for your kids college education?”
Britney: “No, but I have a Starbucks card with like $4,000 dollars on it!”
Student: “Not exactly what I mean. If I were you, I would put the money you are going to save in mortgage payments into a savings account and start to build an emergency fund in case your earning power declines.”
Britney: “No way, have you even heard my new CD, I am here to stay.”
Student: “Yes, I have heard your new CD. So I would go and open an account as soon as you leave here. if not sooner.”
Britney: “Cool, like at a bank? Will they give me a free teddy bear?”
Student:“Maybe you will get lucky. Another suggestion, with your wealth you have the opportunity to do a lot of good. Have you ever considered selling some of your clothes and donating money earned to charity?”
Britney: “I did that after Hurricane Katrina and was able to help the victims.”
Student: “I remember that now, that was great. How did it make you feel?”
Britney: “It made me feel awesome to do some good and help people.”
Professor: “That reminds me of my favorite quote by Winston Churchill, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
Britney: “Thanks, I will remember that.”
Professor: “Thanks for coming in today and I hope we were to give you some good advice.”
Britney: “You totally did, thanks! Now can I get some help getting through the photo jerks and back to my car?”
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7 responses so far ↓
What’s even worse than all these answers being mostly true - is that she puts it all on a credit card, which she apparently forgets to pay. Or have paid. Or whatever.
My best friend worked at a credit card servicing company and apparently someone called in for Britney, whose credit card was late every month and carried a balance, no less. This was last year before all this happened, so I can only imagine what it’s like now.
Lauren, interesting. Geez, you would think making that much money she would have a personal assistant to pay her bills on time…..
Britney and many other celebrities really do need to reign in their overindulgences and impulsive purchases. I mean do you really need 10 cars, 5 mansions, billion dollar jewellery and super expensive clothes that you only wear once and then throw away? I think all the stuff that they don’t use anymore should be auctioned and proceeds given to charity.
This is hilarious, so sad and so true, but hilarious.
Haha too funny! Love this!
LJ and Canadian Saver, thanks, now if only I could Brit to my site to read it!!
Well written! We have cited it as one of our favorites in our Sunday Review #5. Keep up the excellent blogging!
Cheers,
FIRE Finance