Financial Q&A with Britney Spears

January 23, 2008 · Filed Under · 7 Comments 

Professor's Car?If public health crisis Britney Spears walked into a college finance class looking for advice, here is how I hope the conversation would go:

Professor: “Students, please welcome today’s special guest, singer Britney Spears, to our class.”
Applause
Student: “So how much money do you make every month?”
Britney:“I make like a lot per month, and that is totally cool because I have a lot of expenses.”
Student: “What kind of expenses do you have, and can you write them off.”
Britney: “Off where? Your funny. I did write them down, not off, on this handout for you all to see because I was hoping y’all could help me figure out why I don’t have any money at the end of every month.”

Britney’s Expenses Handout

My Monthly Expenzes:
• $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
• $49,267 on mortgage payments
• $16,000 on clothes
• $4,758 on eating out
• $2,500 on phone bills

Student: “Wow, so that is like over $150 a day on eating out?”
Britney: “Well yeah, I don’t know how to cook.”
Student: “OK, but the big one is entertainment, trips and gifts. Can’t you cut down on that stuff?”
Britney: “I need my trips, I get so bored at home by myself.”
Student: “OK, but you seem to live in hotel rooms and your car, how about selling one of your 2 houses and lower your mortgage payments?”
Britney: “I could do that, hey that is a good idea! I have not even been in one of my houses for a long time anyways.”
Student: “That would really help. Also, do you save any money?”
Britney: “What do you mean?”
Student: “Do you put any money in savings account? Or investments? Or for your kids college education?”
Britney: “No, but I have a Starbucks card with like $4,000 dollars on it!”
Student: “Not exactly what I mean. If I were you, I would put the money you are going to save in mortgage payments into a savings account and start to build an emergency fund in case your earning power declines.”
Britney: “No way, have you even heard my new CD, I am here to stay.”
Student: “Yes, I have heard your new CD. So I would go and open an account as soon as you leave here. if not sooner.”
Britney: “Cool, like at a bank? Will they give me a free teddy bear?”
Student:“Maybe you will get lucky. Another suggestion, with your wealth you have the opportunity to do a lot of good. Have you ever considered selling some of your clothes and donating money earned to charity?”
Britney: “I did that after Hurricane Katrina and was able to help the victims.”
Student: “I remember that now, that was great. How did it make you feel?”
Britney: “It made me feel awesome to do some good and help people.”
Professor: “That reminds me of my favorite quote by Winston Churchill, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
Britney: “Thanks, I will remember that.”
Professor: “Thanks for coming in today and I hope we were to give you some good advice.”
Britney: “You totally did, thanks! Now can I get some help getting through the photo jerks and back to my car?”

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Comments

7 Responses to “Financial Q&A with Britney Spears”

  1. Lauren on January 23rd, 2008 5:23 pm

    What’s even worse than all these answers being mostly true – is that she puts it all on a credit card, which she apparently forgets to pay. Or have paid. Or whatever.

    My best friend worked at a credit card servicing company and apparently someone called in for Britney, whose credit card was late every month and carried a balance, no less. This was last year before all this happened, so I can only imagine what it’s like now.

  2. Kyle on January 24th, 2008 9:23 am

    Lauren, interesting. Geez, you would think making that much money she would have a personal assistant to pay her bills on time…..

  3. Silverstar on January 24th, 2008 12:36 pm

    Britney and many other celebrities really do need to reign in their overindulgences and impulsive purchases. I mean do you really need 10 cars, 5 mansions, billion dollar jewellery and super expensive clothes that you only wear once and then throw away? I think all the stuff that they don’t use anymore should be auctioned and proceeds given to charity.

  4. LJ on January 24th, 2008 7:15 pm

    This is hilarious, so sad and so true, but hilarious.

  5. CanadianSaver on January 29th, 2008 5:58 pm

    Haha too funny! Love this!

  6. Kyle on January 30th, 2008 4:25 pm

    LJ and Canadian Saver, thanks, now if only I could Brit to my site to read it!!

  7. FIRE Finance on February 4th, 2008 3:04 pm

    Well written! We have cited it as one of our favorites in our Sunday Review #5. Keep up the excellent blogging!
    Cheers,
    FIRE Finance

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